Last year I had the amazing opportunity to participate in the inaugural season of the
Orange County Mormon Choral Organization.
It is the inspiration of Brett and Brandon Stewart, two brothers from
Fountain Valley who took their love for and training in music to greater heights.
In June of 2007, I received an email inviting church choir members to audition for a new group. I thought it sounded great, but the idea of auditioning? I am not a strong singer. I am fine in a group setting where I can add by hitch-hiking on the talents of a better singer, but I figured that if I had to sing alone in front of a real musician, I would be exposed as the poser I am.
I procrastinated for several weeks until a wonderful soprano in my ward, Dana Norton, encouraged me to try out. She shared the results of her stress-free audition and was very excited. I felt really impressed that I needed this experience and that I would benefit from participating. Even if I didn’t get in, I could encourage my ward choir members to try. So I went online and made the appointment. I sang on the drive up to Fountain Valley and with many prayers offered, felt peaceful about my abilities. It was a one-on-one audition in the front room of the choir creator. I listened from the front porch as the man before me did warm ups and than sang the bass part to a hymn of his choosing and then the melody of a hymn that spanned an octave. He was good but not great, which gave me comfort. Not everyone was MoTab quality.
I had decided to sing from a men's choir number, “Brightly Beams Our Father’s Mercy.” Somewhere back in the ‘80’s I was singing in a ward choir that had very few men. (Sound familiar?) There was however a woman named Suzanne Stott, who sang tenor. It was easy to go a few notes lower and fill in the missing section, so I began singing tenor with her and have loved those lower notes ever since. Anyway I did my warm ups with Brett and sang my two selections. I later received an email congratulating me on acceptance into the Women’s Chorus as a Second Alto. At the first rehearsal I attended I was blown away by the music that the Adult Choir was preparing. It was so wonderful that I had an immediate case of 10th Commandment envy and knew that I wanted to be singing with the Big Boys. Fortunately for me, there was a shortage of men and an incentive that any woman in the Woman’s Chorus who could recruit a man to the Adult Chorus would be allowed to join. I invited (cajoled, encouraged, begged) my friend Kelly Hale to audition. He has a wonderful tenor voice, but a crazy schedule that had kept him from signing up in the first wave of email invites. Kelly agreed to audition and I was able to join the adult choir when he was added to the men’s section. I have no doubt that at some point the Hale’s would have discovered OCMCO, but because of this initial invitation not only has Kelly joined, but his three children are now in the children’s choruses, his wife Mary Margaret is playing viola in the orchestra and is assistant to the orchestra chair, and Kelly’s brother and sister in law are singing as well. Dominoes!
A year and three performances later, I have enjoyed this wonderful journey. I have learned many musical skills that I have incorporated into my responsibilities as ward choir director. I have also participated in stake choirs with more confidence and felt my talents expand. I am grateful for the manner in which the Stewart brothers have conducted the creation and implementation of this musical experiment through the guidance of the Spirit.
Several weeks ago I received an email explaining that all women would have to re-audition for acceptance into the choir. There was a need to pare down the women’s section to create a greater balance in the sound. I was concerned but not in despair. I prayed about it and explained to the Lord that I would love to be able to participate again, but that I would turn it over to Him. I felt that there may be other’s who needed to participate more than I did. I knew that the Stewarts would need to eliminate singers from every section to create a better balance, but I had faith in their spiritual insight. I prepared for the audition by singing often, focusing on the techniques learned over the year. I also spent time in study and prayer. When the day came I went to the church and prepared to do my best. It was great to see so many familiar faces but it was also sad to realize that this could be my last time joining with them in song. When my time came I entered the chapel and with a self-deprecating joke about my fears proceeded to sing to the best of my abilities. I wasn’t afraid, but I was filled with an awareness that I did not know where I stood in relationship to the skills of so many others and the needs of the choir as a whole. I left feeling comforted and submissive and apprehensive for the promised email to come the following week with either good tidings or bad news.
It was a long Wednesday. I checked my email often but resisted the urge to live at the computer all day. Finally, I opened my Outlook Express Inbox and saw OCMCO in the From: column with the Subject: Audition Results. I sat down and opened the message and was elated to see the first word was Congratulations! I sent up a quick thank you prayer, followed by lengthier gratitudes later. I sent an email to my good friend Tami Holmes with the subject – ‘See you Thursday?’ and a message that read, ‘I’m feeling blessed, how about you?’ She wrote back later that night confirming that she was in too. When I got to the first night’s rehearsal I recognized many faces. Brett talked of the many singers who were not returning and of the ‘elimination’ (or was it annihilation?) of the women’s chorus. Our conductors stressed the importance of attendance and the fact that there are many people who would gladly have taken our seat. It really reconfirmed the need for commitment on each person’s part.
During the course of the evening Brandon worked to create ‘core’ sounds for each section. Being the neophyte that I am, I did not quite understand the process. It wasn’t until I was driving home that I began to piece it all together. I watched and listened as the first altos were taken to the front of the chapel and all of the women were asked to sing a piece of music. From there three women were selected to stand in front of the group to repeat the piece. Brandon then added and subtracted other singers from the mix. At one point my friend Tami (who has an amazing voice) was brought up to sing but then dismissed to sit back down. Finally he had a group of five singers who he said represented the core sound he was looking for. He seated them in the middle of the section and placed all of the other singers around them. He instructed the section to work towards matching that sound.
He then brought up the second altos to repeat the process. Starting with a section of ‘I Believe in Christ’, Brandon, had us sing as a group. I was having a struggle with the breathing, and having a hard time sustaining the phrasing and sounding very strong. Again that feeling of poser crept in. As the conductor stood just two feet from me, I knew that I was not singing up to snuff. He had us sing again as a group then pulled out several women. There were two women who had amazing voices, just the kind who really make you appreciate the beauty of an alto line – rich and full. Another woman was OK, and I couldn’t even hear the last person. He made a few adjustments, tried moving singers around and then said let’s add some different voices. Although he was standing right in front of me, I was feeling safe in my anonymity, as I was sandwiched between much better singers. However he looked down and said ‘Christy, you come up and stand here.’ I stood up and made a comment, something to the effect that ‘you’ve got to be kidding? Me?’ Everyone got a laugh at my discomfort and fear. We proceeded to sing through the section again. To be honest, I have no idea how I sounded. I know I didn’t sound as good as the amazing duo in the middle, but I may have been OK as a blending voice. I just knew that if they were expecting perfection, it wasn’t coming from me. Again Brandon said let’s try adding some others. He said, Christy you move over here. My discomfort still apparent, he said, ‘or you can sit down’, which I with great relief said ‘Thank you’ to. He tweaked a little more and came up with five singers to create our core sound. They truly sound wonderful.
I felt bad afterwards though, and even more so on the way home. I don’t want to not give it my all, especially in light of the ‘you’re taking the seat of someone who didn’t make it’ speech. I wish that I had tried a little harder to not be frightened of the opportunity. Maybe I would have been an adequate voice and provided the ‘blender voice’ aspect. I know that I sound really good when I pair up with someone else who is good, and who better to be paired up to then the best core sound singers? I think that not understanding the purpose of the process contributed to my fears – I’m still not sure how he went about selecting singers and why he picked me. Maybe just a random person who caught his eye? Unfortunately it’s a road I didn’t make an effort to pursue. I hope that I can do better in the future and that my faith will overcome my fears and I can prove myself as a member of OCMCO. Lesson learned.
