Family Strength

Last week I received an early morning phone call from my Mom's home number. When your parents are aging, a familiar number at an unexpected time always makes you jumpy. My concerns were confirmed when it was my brother on the phone instead of 'Mom' as the caller ID identified. Ken and his son Michael live with Gma Hazel, in a mutually beneficial arrangement where Mom has live in help and the guys have room & board. Ken let me know that they had taken Mom to the hospital because she had been having back & neck pain which after being prescribed muscle relaxants proceeded into collapsing and fainting. After a long day and night of assisting Mom in her deteriorating condition, the ambulance was called and she was wheeled off to the new IHC hospital in mid-valley.

Rather than a recounting of the medical aspects of her aging situation I want to reflect on the beauty of the family unit. I called my older brother to let him know what was happening. He was just going into a meeting but he called his wife, Vali who was finishing up at a doctor's appointment in Park City and immediately went to the hospital. During that bleak Thursday she was a ray of help and hope, assisting Mom with paperwork and monitoring and remembering the doctors, nurses and therapists information to share with the rest of the family. Her assistance extended for several days as she coordinated care upon her return home and continued updates to the rest of the family. Her children were quick to come visit in the hospital - son Nick is an EMT and came by on one of his trips through the hospital, other son Jesse lives close by and stopped by to offer love and comfort. Vali was the right person in the right place doing the right thing. The blessing to assist Mom during this challenge strengthened and polished eternal ties. As Vali sweetly shared, 'Hazel has been the Mother figure in my life for so many years. I'm glad to be needed and to serve.'

Other family members also stepped up to offer support. Keileigh's visit and buoyant personality offered enthusiasm when spirits were stretched. Noelle's late night visit while Gma was in a drugged stupor was the source of laughs for days. Hazel asked if she dreamed the beautiful vivid memories of Noelle's wedding. Noelle told her she had brought a book chronicling her Big Day and Grandma had thumbed through it in her delirious state! Ken's comments about The Sisters (Rachel, Noelle & Keileigh) second visit offering loving support and a ray of joy makes me happy that they have the ability to recognize Important Moments and to be a part of and add to Eternity. Matthew's phone calls and long distance love as caring son were appreciated. Natalie's Irish meal was a glimmer of familial love to Mom upon her return home and daughter Mary's spot cleaning perked up the place in addition to Rachel's bi-monthly house cleaning visits which have given the apartment a 'woman's touch'. Kathy's chili was recognized as 'the best ever.' Additional calls, cards & prayers sustained us all.

In talking to Ken yesterday as the immediate needs of hospitalization wane, and the on-going long term care of the woman who cared for us resumes, we reflected on the contributions each person added. Although families tend to be the harshest critics and the greatest allies we recognize that each member of the group is needed and has something to proffer. As we are able to see that one person's offering doesn't diminish our own, and that we each are benefitted by the sharing of a task, we come to realize the beauty and strength of the Family Unit.