Letter to a Friend

I recently received a letter from a friend informing me that he was voting No on 8. His reasoning was based on his desire to accept all people without judgment and was written with love for his friends in the Yes on 8 camp. There was a response from a mutual friend that outlined her beliefs on why she was voting Yes - basically that a word she knew to mean something specific was being usurped and compromised. I felt a need to respond as well but was uncertain what to say. During the night I awoke and received the following words to share. In respect to their privacy I have edited out names:

M**,
I, like A**, love you for your boldness in sharing your reasoning and admire the compassion you have for all mankind.
I have thought long & hard during the course of this struggle and gone through the same mental exercises in determining how I feel about this Proposition. I love the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann – ‘Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.’ Like many Americans I fluctuate between the ‘live and let live’ attitude and the ‘whatever’ mindset that is the greatest freedom we enjoy in this country. But the phrase without surrender seems to haunt me. Do I go along to get along and surrender my values as the price to pay?
I truly accept and empathize with others. I look at the word marriage and think, like Shakespeare ‘a rose by any other name’ – what does it matter what we call it - civil union, domestic partnership, marriage? I’d prefer my many gay friends be in committed relationships.
For me, what it first and last came down to was that I believe Heavenly Father knows best and He is the one who defined the term and set the rules. And thirteen years ago, foreseeing the path Satan would take to lead his children astray, He inspired a Prophet to clarify His position through the Declaration on the Family.
And astray, or away, is why I’m voting Yes. Because that’s what this has come to mean to me. If we move away from God’s holy, eternal definition of marriage we move away from Him. We can be tolerant and loving and accept our brothers and sisters for choosing other paths, but ultimately those choices will lead them and others farther away from true, lasting happiness.
Fair is the term that Dianne Feinstein uses in her Vote No ad. But fair is a relative term. Many times you set a rule or standard to protect your children, only to hear them whine & complain ‘That’s so NOT FAIR!’ To their limited understanding, that’s how it may appear. However, you in love and with more knowledge know that (*one son*) is too young to drive and (*another son*) is too young to drink. Because you love them you set boundaries whether they understand the reasons or not.
As a society we have set standards on marriage. Originally those standards were God-given. Over time they have been incorporated from religious reasons to moral, societal, traditional and legal boundaries. There are many forms of love – not all warranting or deserving of marriage designation: Parent-child, brother-sister, cousin-cousin, pet-pet/lover, groups of people. Last week in Japan a man launched a campaign to allow humans to marry cartoon characters because he prefers a two dimensional world. Again how do we define fair?
To me, voting yes acknowledges the God given agency to choose to live in domestic partnerships and receive all the government benefits, while at the same time allowing me to stand up for the more significant issue of family. The most important eternal unit is family. It’s interesting that Satan has worked long and hard to make his final battle strike at the very heart of the Kingdom of God. We come from a family with a Heavenly Father and Mother and brothers and sisters. Ponder on the love you have for your own children and then imagine it through Heavenly Father’s eyes. He sees us with even greater love, compassion and clarity and wants only the best for each of His children. He doesn’t want any of us to settle Esau-like for a ‘mess of pottage,’ when he has a feast planned.
My feeling about working on the Yes campaign, as challenging as it has been, was to educate others to quietly go along in their non-confrontational ways, being at peace with all men while at the same time giving courage to voters to step inside the voting booth and know that how you vote is between you and God. No one else will know. I think that’s the time to come to terms with how you stand, and ultimately where you stand and with whom you stand.
I know there are some who may be voting Yes on 8 for other reasons – there are those who are homophobic, some who abhor change and some who see a decline in societal standards. I’m voting Yes because I want to stand with God. And though that may make me appear intolerant and sets me up to the finger-pointing mockery of Lehi’s large and spacious building crowd, I know that I don’t stand alone. And the crowd I stand with includes others who have been persecuted for standing for truth.
And I’ll live with that…
I love you M**. You’re a good person and I know that God knows your heart and your intent. May you find peace and joy in this life as you exercise your God-given agency to choose how you see fit.
Take care & God Bless