Guide to the 4 Voice Parts

In any chorus there are four main voice parts: soprano, alto, tenor, and bass. Sometimes these are divided into first and second within each part, prompting endless jokes about first and second basses. There are also various other parts such as baritone, countertenor, contralto, mezzo-soprano, and so on, but these are mostly used by people who are either soloists, or belong to some excessively hotshot classical a cappella group (this applies especially to countertenors), or are trying to make excuses for not really fitting into any of the regular voice parts, so we will ignore them for now.

Each voice part sings in a different range, and each one has a very different personality. You may well ask, "Why should singing different notes make people act differently?", and indeed this is a mysterious question and has not been adequately studied, especially since scientists who study musicians tend to be musicians themselves and have all the peculiar complexes that go with being tenors, french horn players, timpanists, or whatever. However, this is beside the point; the fact remains that the four voice parts can
be easily distinguished, as described below.

THE SOPRANOS are the ones who sing the highest, and because of this they think they rule the world. They have longer hair, fancier jewelery, and swishier skirts than anyone else, and they consider themselves insulted if they are not allowed to go at least to a high F in every movement of any given piece. When (and sometimes, if) they reach the high notes, they hold them for at least half again as long as the composer and/or conductor requires, and then complain that their throats are killing them and that the composer and conductor are sadists. Sopranos have varied attitudes toward the other sections of the chorus, though they consider all of them inferior. Altos are to sopranos rather like second violins to first violins - nice to harmonize with, but not really necessary. All sopranos have a secret feeling that the altos could drop out and the piece would sound essentially the same, and they don't understand why anybody would sing in that range in the first place - it's so boring. Tenors, on the other hand, can be very nice to have around; besides their flirtation possibilities (it is a well-known fact that sopranos never flirt with basses), sopranos like to sing duets with tenors because all the tenors are doing is working very hard to sing in a low-to-medium soprano range, while the sopranos are up there in the stratosphere showing off. To sopranos, basses are the scum of the earth - they sing too damn loud, are useless to tune to because they're down in that low, low range - and there has to be something wrong with anyone who sings in the F clef, anyway (although while they swoon while the Tenors sing, they still end up going home with the basses.)

THE ALTOS are the salt of the earth - in their opinion, at least. Altos are unassuming people, who would wear jeans to concerts if they were allowed to. Altos are in a unique position in the chorus in that they are unable to complain about having to sing either very high or very low, and they know that all the other sections think their parts are pitifully easy. But the altos know otherwise. They know that while the sopranos are screeching away on a high A, they are being forced to sing elaborate passages full of sharps and flats and tricks of rhythm, and nobody is noticing because the sopranos are singing too loud (and the basses usually are, too). Altos get a deep, secret pleasure out of conspiring together to tune the sopranos flat. Altos have an innate distrust of tenors, because the tenors sing in almost the same range and think they sound better. They like the basses, and enjoy singing duets with them - the basses just sound like a rumble anyway, and it's the only time the altos can really be heard. Altos' other complaint is that there are always too many of them and so they never get to sing really loud.

THE TENORS are spoiled. That's all there is to it. For one thing, there are never enough of them, and choir directors would rather sell their souls than let a halfway decent tenor quit, while they're always ready to unload a few altos at half price. And then, for some reason, the few tenors there are are always really good - it's one of those annoying facts of life. So it's no wonder that tenors always get swollen heads - after all, who else can make sopranos swoon? The one thing that can make tenors insecure is the accusation (usually by the basses) that anyone singing that high couldn't possibly be a real man. In their usual perverse fashion, the tenors never acknowledge this, but just complain louder about the composer being a sadist and making them sing so damn high. Tenors have a love-hate relationship with the conductor, too, because the conductor is always telling them to sing louder because there are so few of them. No conductor in recorded history has ever asked for less tenor in a forte passage. Tenors feel threatened in some way by all the other sections - the sopranos because they can hit those incredibly high notes; the altos because they have no trouble singing the notes the tenors kill themselves for; and the basses because, although they can't sing anything above an E, they sing it loud enough to drown the tenors out. Of course, the tenors would rather die than admit any of this. It is a little-known fact that tenors move their eyebrows more than anyone else while singing.

THE BASSES sing the lowest of anybody. This basically explains everything. They are stolid, dependable people, and have more facial hair than anybody else. The basses feel perpetually unappreciated, but they have a deep conviction that they are actually the most important part (a view endorsed by musicologists, but certainly not by sopranos or tenors), despite the fact that they have the most boring part of anybody and often sing the same note (or in endless fifths) for an entire page. They compensate for this by singing as loudly as they can get away with - most basses are tuba players at heart. Basses are the only section that can regularly complain about how low their part is, and they make horrible faces when trying to hit very low notes. Basses are charitable people, but their charity does not extend so far as tenors, whom they consider effete poseurs. Basses hate tuning with the tenors more than almost anything else. Basses like altos - except when they have duets and the altos get the good part. As for the sopranos, they are simply in an alternate universe which the basses don't understand at all. They can't imagine why anybody would ever want to sing that high and sound that bad when they make mistakes. When a bass makes a mistake, the other three parts will cover him, and he can continue on his merry way, knowing that sometime, somehow, he will end up at the root of the chord.

Yes Sir That's My Baby!

Noelle is Famous! Or so she tells me. Check out this picture on the USU Skyroom Dining Services Site. Recognize the skinny ponytail and the turquoise sweater? That's my baby!

25+ Things About Me List

My friend Matt sent me a FaceBook invite to list 25 Things About Me. I hate doing things like that, but his list was so fun and funny that I wanted to play to. Once I started writing I LOVED IT! What a great way to recapture the essence of a life. I hope you will enjoy my ramblings and maybe do your own. I'd love to learn about you too!

1. I like music. My voice is not great, but I'm taking lessons & singing with a choir that's amazing. So that makes me feel like I'm better because as a group we sound so good.

2. I conduct a church choir. It's one of my favorite activities. I love creating unity from chaos. There's such joy when many voices let go of individual goals and blend into one. I've been called the choir nazi, but someone has to call the shots and I'm willing to do it. Some of my best memories and best friends have come from these experiences.

3. I'm back in school taking Algebra so that I can get a bachelor's degree. I have an Associates Degree from Santa Ana College in Liberal Arts and one year completed at the University of Utah in a program they discontinued. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up but I have to declare a new major soon...

4. I worked in a photo booth during college. I once got robbed while working there and the most important attribute I could recall for the police to apprehend the perp was that he had a very hairy gut. I knew this because he lifted his shirt to show me the gun tucked into the top of his pants.

5. Having children brings the broadest spectrum of experiences. They bring greater joy when they are happy and greater sorrow when they aren't. I'm grateful I've had the parenting experience. I've heard two quotes that apply - "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" and "A Mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child.' Both maxims are true.

6. I collect quotes. I have numerous books filled with inspirational thoughts that I've gathered throughout my life. Now I have the internet. What a great resource.

7. Eric & I first met in the LDS Stake Center in Kamas Utah. It had it's 15 minutes of fame for being the church that was bombed by extremists. When I saw Eric across the crowded cultural hall for the first time I knew that we would marry. (Cue the music) Six months later we were sealed in the SL Temple.

8. All of our children's names have significance. Our son is named after King Benjamin & Ben Franklin and his grandfathers for many generations; Rachel shares middle names with me and so does her daughter; Noelle is named after Eric's best friend's wife; Keileigh is honoring John Claude Kiley-a French Olympic gold medal skier. Eric picked her name.

9. We have a friend who has four daughters. His wife picked all of their names. When they got to the last baby he wanted to have a say in her name. Her name is Gracie Cupcake Jones.

10. I love the process of creation. I like to paint, sketch, write, blog, compose, take pictures. I'm not very crafty though. I took a class at the U of U called The Science of Creativity. It was helpful. When I was younger I dressed eclectically. I had people come to my wedding just to see what I was wearing. Having children changed my style - they are embarrassed by everything you do and so I started to dress 'normal.' Now they are gone...maybe I'll pull out those free-spirit clothes again!

10.2 I had a tie dye company called 'Tie By Night' in the late '80's & early '90's. My business partner and neighbor was the earth-mother, quasi-hippy, druid lover in the business. Me? I just liked to play with the colors. We dressed our children up in our inventory and went to art festivals throughout northern Utah. We also taught classes through community ed and in our offspring's classes. It was hard work and great fun but I gave it up when I got pregnant. I still like to play with colors and see how they affect our lives. I studied Color Analysis for clothing and makeup and spent time doing that as well. My best colors are pink, blue and purple.

11. I like to take walks. In Salt Lake I love walking in Liberty Park. If you walk at the same time, going in the same direction you see the same people every day. If you change directions you see a whole new world. When I'm in Utah I go back and reconnect with people I haven't seen since I moved to SoCal. In California I love walking at the beach.

12. I have seen tons of dolphins surfing at Salt Creek Beach. 8:30am is a good time to be there.

13. The dolphins were surfing I was watching...I don't surf.

14. I lived in American Samoa when I was young. My kids call me a 'Wolynesia' - a white Polynesian. I learned how to dance and can still do the Tahitian and poi ball dances. I learned how to swim in the bay at Pago Pago Harbor. I couldn't open my eyes in the salty Pacific Ocean so I had a hard time learning how to navigate in the water.

14.2 I don't like to drink from plastic cups. Goes back to my years at Fia Iloa Elementary cafeteria where they served watered-down powdered milk in little plastic cups. I would look for the cup with the least amount of nasty liquid because you had to eat everything served.

15. I am the only daughter in my family. I have five awesome brothers. There are advantages. When I was younger I wanted sisters. Later I got sisters in law and daughters. This was a perfect way to gain female connections.

16. I love to read Neal A Maxwell. He paints pictures with words. I love his skill.

16.2. I love to read and think the free library system is one of the greatest advantages in our society. Even though in Dana Point you have to pay to reserve books...

17. Knowing The Meaning of Life is one of the best things to have. It makes the day to day better when you have a clear vision of what the end result is. I am grateful for eternal perspective.

18. I ACAD. (A Chapter A Day) I have been reading the scriptures every day since January 7, 1977.

19. I (usually) only buy stuff if it's on sale, it makes the acquisition that much sweeter. I hear it's the same genetic marker that made hunters in ancient times stalk big game animals. There's something in the hunt and kill. I don't eat meat too much, but I still like the pursuit and the challenge.

20. I like to fish at Flaming Gorge with Eric. He puts on the worms and guts and cooks the catch. I once caught four fish on the same worm with just four casts, with a baby in a front packer, while balancing precariously on a rocky cliff. I'd do it again too!

21. I smile when I'm walking around. I love to watch people's faces light up as they see a happy countenance coming toward them. Then they smile too and I feel like I'm doing my part to make the world a better place. When they don't smile or look away I think that's fun too.

22. I also have been know to not be smiling. Eric calls it 'The Look' or 'The Silent Treatment'. I tell him I'm just thinking.

23. I was a Chateau Queen. I lived and worked in Park City at the Chateau Apres Lodge. There was a billboard on the way into town that advertised the hotel and boasted of queen sized beds. There have been many female employees throughout the 70's and beyond who share the title.

24. I won honorable mention in a church writing contest when I was in college for a short story I adapted from another source.

25. I like the US Census. I discovered cool ways to be a detective using it for family history research. I liked it so much that I worked on the 2000 Census. I worked for them again in 2005 doing the labor survey that is reported every month by the federal government that charts the nation's unemployment rate. That was harder work, but it had it's rewards.

Church History Museum Adventure

During our recent visit to Salt Lake City I had the opportunity to visit the LDS Church History Museum with my daughter Rachel and grand-daughter Maebe. We had a wonderful time and found activities and displays that appealed to all of us. During the Christmas season they had dozens of creches from Poland on display. If you're ever in downtown SLC, check out the artwork, the historical artifacts and the wonderful hands-on children's displays. It's a great way to productively spend an afternoon creating memories.

Remarkable Women

Oftentimes we go through life and never stop to realize what's going on around us. Recently I attended a meeting of women from church and enjoyed an evening of good food, companionship and holiday cheer. In addition to those surface rewards we were also blessed with the opportunity to serve and the opportunity to strengthen and sustain each other. There are other places within the context of worldly pursuits where we can gain those experiences, but being a part of this 'tribe' allows us countless blessings to share and expand our skills and to be a part of something bigger, better and more important than one's self. The fact that this service occurs in the Kingdom of God makes it an everlasting experience. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be included and involved in this grand work.

Many thanks to the women who believe in these profound truths and practice their beliefs. Your example strengthens me in times of happiness and during times of trial. Sisters forever!

What Was That?

Today I was in Laguna Beach donating blood at South Coast Medical Center which has this great view of the Pacific Ocean through a panoramic window running the length of the hospital. As a few of us were recovering - drinking the water, eating the snacks - I noticed a flock of seagulls going crazy on the water. I figured it was just a bunch of fish below that had them all excited for a food fest, but as I watched more I realized there was a lot of action just below the surface and that occasionally something was breaching. There was a small boat near the action, and then one of the huge Whale Watching Tour Boats came barreling into the area. We excitedly discussed the possibilities knowing there was something cool going on even though we couldn't identify what was churning the waters.

I did a little research to see what is going on along the coast and found Captain Dave's Dolphin Safari Sightings Log. There have been 1000+ Common Dolphins along the coast in the last few days! (Scroll down on the page a little to see the 2008 listing dates have actually rolled over to 2009.)

I also found several great videos of sea life from along the coast. It's amazing to think of the amount of animal life just miles away and yards down! (My apologies to Keileigh who is terrified of huge animals below the sea, but I think it's pretty awesome.)

And for the budget minded starting January 6th they have a special Tuesday half price rate of $14.50! Can't beat that for thrills!

(Of course I could include the map link and an article on shark sightings along the coast... cue Jaws music...)

ELF GALLERY!

We always seem to find the funniest items at our favorite Maverik in Fillmore. It's a driving tradition to stop and fill the tank, take a pit stop and depending on the season either buy a frozen yogurt or hot chocolate (Noelle mixes the best chocolate concoction!) This year we found funny candy guitars (aka plastic sugar beads-igg yuck!) to give to our rock band crazed children. There was a rock & a country version and they each played four tunes.

We also found this crazy elf hat with ears and had fun torturing everyone in the family as we asked them to don the ears to be in our Elf Gallery of Family Stars. Thanks for being good sports!

There were a few folks who missed the elf ears altogether, but we included everyone in the Family Gallery! We changed to the Goofy hat at Clark's house for new grins. Life is funner with strange head wear!